Who do you work with?
My clients are varied in terms of their background, relationship status, health status and sexual orientation. However, they all have three things in common :
1. Their physical sexual functioning has changed.
2. This change is negatively affecting their life.
3. They want practical solutions to regain confidence and control.
Can you give me an example of an appointment?
I see a lot of clients experiencing sexual function changes after prostate cancer treatment.
The aim of my approach is to help patients recover as much function as possible and have a fulfilling sex life regardless.
I recently worked with a 70 year old client, 3 months after nerve-sparring radical prostatectomy.
His primary objective was to find a way to maintain an erection for penetrative intercourse. He also wanted a rehabilitation routine to support cavernous nerve recovery (the nerves responsible for erections traumatised during surgery).
We started with an in-person appointment. I asked him for an overview of what had changed after the treatment and the impact this was having on his life.
After we defined his objectives, I explained the process of cavernous never repair after the prostatectomy procedure and erection recovery expectations given the latest research available and his individual factors.
NOTE : It is challenging to give an exact time frame or physical outcome expectation for this particular physiological journey. It is a principle of my practice to make it clear what is known, what is not known, what is in our control, and what is not in our control, given the latest clinical evidence.
Over the next month we sourced him a vacuum erection device (VED) with adjustable parts to allow for adaptation to his. We found him a particular lubricant to make the process more pleasurable. I sent him different sized erection rings over a few weeks to trial until he found one that maintained the erection he wanted.
6 months later, he can now create an assisted erection when he wants to in under 5 minutes that lasts for 30 minutes using the pump-rings combination. We've also recently added a vibrator technique that he is finding adds to the 'fullness' of the erection
Read it in his own words at the top of my Testimonials page here.
Does anything sexual happen in the appointments?
This is a very normal question to ask considering sexuality is usually conceptualised as 'a little less conversation, a little more action'.
No sexual activity of any kind takes place in these appointments.
The appointment takes place in a neutral consulting room in a clinical setting (Cancer Specialists in Richmond). We sit opposite each other on chairs and we have a conversation.
Consider my role in your journey as a strategist and co-researcher to help you pick pathways that will suit your lifestyle, values and goals.
My job is to make it easy for you to understand the journey you are on and the roads you could travel down if you choose to.
You are in the driver's seat at all times (I am merely your sexuality GPS).
Do I keep my clothes on?
I cannot stress enough (and my liability insurance is more than happy that I do) that absolutely no sexual activities, invasive procedures or nudity takes place during these appointments.
What will you ask me during an appointment?
I will ask you questions to understand your current sexual health and your definition of sexual well-being. Then we will discuss what factors impact your sexual well-being.
I do not ask questions that are unrelated to your definitions of sexual wellness, and I do not impose any specific set of norms or values around sexuality.
You are in control of setting the goals and values for us to work with.
I will then explain the options available for you to optimise your sexual well-being (as you define it), the reasoning behind them and how you can access them.
I follow-up after the appointment at a time that suits you and in a way that suits you (email, phone calls or text message). This is so we can tweak any strategies to better suit you and make sure our session together has added value.
Will I undergo a clinical examination?
No. There are no clinical examinations or procedures involved in these appointments. This is a conversation-based session.
I also do not diagnose or prescribe. Interventions for sexual well-being that I do offer as options when appropriate are all non-invasive (for example, lubricants and vacuum erection devices). I help source and deliver these options with instructions relevant to the situation however they are not used during sessions.
Are you a Clinical Psychologist or Counsellor?
I have an academic background in psychology, specialising in behaviour change design, however I am not a qualified counsellor or clinical psychologist.
Therefore, I do not use psychological interventions during our sessions. I simply listen, compassionately and non-judgmentally, ensure I have understood your goals, and then explain the best available options that you can pick and choose as it suits you.
My consulting approach has an emphasis on strategic problem solving. You are never required to take up any of the options we discuss and I will not make any promises regarding outcomes that are out of my control.
I often work alongside psychologists and psychosexual therapists/counsellors as part of my clients' sexual function team.
There are many ways to address sexuality and I am happy to provide referrals when my clients want to explore this option.